Don’t listen to love songs if you don’t have to. If there is no reason to. Superman, and plenty more. Just especially when things don’t seem to be at their best. Your space is crowded and there are too many voices, decibels, in your head. It brings down a gloom, and life’s events become unhappy, every single one of them. Queuing at the bank is depressing, the bus ride home is an ache, Tesco is a painful pierce.

I decided a few days ago following a life-long think process that love was over-rated. It was the most talked about and written about subject in the world. Maybe apart from God. And it compared nothing at all to God. It is a waste of time and purpose, tears and hope. Save for some angel that was going to come full winged (wings spanning the distance between the heavens and the earth) to swoop me up into the skies of love, I do not see my ideal man lifetimes away. Maybe I am not the ideal woman, I am quite far.

Can I honestly ask though that what is that crap about love being blind? Because if you ask me, the prettiest ones seem to be the most ‘loved’ ones around, honestly. I encounter beings of little character but for heavy endowments gathering I love you’s from the widest and most unimaginable sources. No further comments.

Money, love, sex, music; all seemingly intertwined. Men look for sex with money; love also they claim. Sex sells and makes plenty men money; directly as porn, indirectly as chewing gum and shampoo. Music sells love to make money for more men. Love is a money maker. Match.com.

With age is supposed to come knowledge and wisdom. With mine has come more confusion and elusion. Maybe it is these topics that we must erase from thought and talk. Sex, love, and money. Mos def ingeniously used all three to make music; money.

Love is over-rated but yet I listen to the words with conviction. Hope is a horrible thing; it can keep a dying man alive and in pain; make a disbeliever in love wait endlessly; turn our words to lies; make man a vulnerable and untrustable character.

Hope. It should go in with sex, love, money, and music. I build my list.

You can make a moment a memory in a glance.

And I never thought that anyone could love someone so much that they give up on everything.

Somehow, we will all wait.

Till it's beautiful.

Lately I have been put through a torment of sorts. I can barely believe this is happening to me...can barely believe the way in which it is happening to me. How can a force so far away have an effect over such a distance? How can a force so barely accustomed to, so barely experienced create such an effect? It angers me and pleases me at the same time. The wait is too long...the torment is ravaging...the egos and the statuses...the timing...my joblessness....it is all too overbearing and I fear a breakdown. Because it is sometimes too thought provoking to sit in a shell...with nothing but the air you breathe in and out surrounding you...nothing but a happy two to stare you in the face and play your strings into a crescendo...a high that is intoxicating...lifting you into space, and then dropping you with a bump on the hard wet ground that is earth.

The tease is a feather, a tickle, an itch that lasts too long, is left unscratched for too long. It becomes a nuisance..a rash...an irritation..and the skin itself is a hinderance...for the itch is now far past the skin...it tears into the soul.

I await the moment I can scratch it...and derive that far reaching satisfaction that is from an abyss of unspeakable proportions. But today, this is what you are to me, I will still call you my itch.

So I realised I do not have my famous speech up on my own blog...lol. Allow me to give a little prelude to it.

So somehow I told my education co-ordinator at College that over the summer of 2005 I had been invited to my former school to talk to the graduating year about achievements and dreams and all, and she thought it was fantastic. Next thing I knew they wanted me to write and give the speech at the Benefactor's reception which was being held at Kensington palace that year.

First thing I thought was wooow, this is big...but of course I was really happy..and proud...cos I never thought Tina thought me so highly (thats what her name was). So I took to writing it, and somehow this piece did not require too much...it just all came to me...and took just over two days to write...I must have been feeling the words so bad...they were all I remembered when I thought of home and that summer.

So I delivered it in the presence of the Duke of Gloucester and many other Dukes too..in this big old palace hall...right by the room where Queen Victoria grew up...amidst all these unbelievably rich and influential people...and it went great! It was and probably still is, one of the best things I have ever done. The acclaim I received at the end of it was phenomenal!...one old man gave me the ole kiss on the hand; I got personal numbers of VC's from Unis...shame it was Brighton and Keele and the rest that I hadnt even applied to; the Duke thought it was fantastic, and gave me a nice kiss for it...and all my friends were almost in tears too!

Well for me the first thing I thought was shit I'm thirsty! lol. So I ran to the drinks table and gulped a glass of some juice down (cant seem to remember which it was, or was it water? Doesnt matter now..lol) Somehow my thirst had become my tension and nervousness and it was great to hear my own voice fill the hall when I read it...it rang through...and quieted every single thing...and somehow it wasnt my voice...it was the words that sped out on their own...and they were crystal clear...no break...no uhm...each one jus sped past to become history...and when I stepped down from the podium it was magnificent! I still find no words to describe that moment. Allow me to eat a slice of humble pie after this; sometimes one's achievements must be given the right acclaim

So I had written and delivered one speech at Kensington Palace...and I had become somebody that night...it was more than great.

I leave u with the speech. I have read it too many times...put it in applications and all that...its been published...and people are still awed by it and talk about it...some people say they expected nothing less from me, but sometimes I still cannot believe the writer I am...but when the muse is from God and your passion, can one really take the acclaim?

My Speech.

Good evening Your Royal Highness, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Nurah Oyekan. I am proudly Nigerian, and I am a 2^nd year IB student at the Pestalozzi Village.

When I went home last summer, I told my mother I had bought a new pair of eyes. I had not received a new pair of glasses; I have perfect eyesight. I had become a citizen of the world, and was no longer going to remain a mere citizen of Nigeria. I could now judge my world against what the world really was. The myopia had finally left me. I had new eyes.

I had spent a year in England, and while trying to adjust my new eyes to the now new environment of Nigeria, I found I was not myself much. The first drawback was that my eyes never got enough light! The ever-constant power cuts in Nigeria did not exempt themselves from giving me a tumultuous welcome. I was received barely an hour into my return when ‘bang’ no light.

As the week at home continued, I developed my confidence, becoming a new person in this chapter of my life. It was with great honour that I stood on a podium, with one hundred eager and inexperienced eyes staring at me, giving a leadership and career speech at a school I once was a student at. I called it my pedestal of knowledge, the one pedestal I was happiest to be standing on.

With new eyes, one does not always see the world the way it is hoped to be seen, it is seen the way it truly is. I saw what I thought was a marred view of my society and environment. Through my eyes I saw the potholes on the roads, the homeless on the street, the inexistent drainage system and gutters for the streets, which resulted in constant floods in the rainy seasons. With it did I watch the news, and see the corruption and vices, read about the embezzlement of public funds present in the only place I could call home. I remember that the first few days back were a haze. Eyes doing all of the working, my mouth did little or no talking. It was thought that I was strangely quiet; I thought it was unbelievable that this home of mine could be called a functional society. One cannot help recalling the words of the great Musician Fela Anikulapo Kuti, when he calls Nigeria the abode of the “suffering and smiling”. I never failed to see a smiling face, a cheerful look, or receive a kind word my entire time home. In amazement, did I receive the news that Nigerians were considered the happiest people on the planet according to a survey conducted by the BBC. It is true that our hope keeps us smiling.

It is not with a sense of shame and guilt that I stand before you as a citizen of Nigeria today though. It is with a sense of ever-renewed hope for the best of futures. Because people like me will make it great someday. We shall make poverty history not just by providing for basic needs, we shall provide a range of options, eradicating poverty as a state of the mind. I need not stress how wonderful the Pestalozzi experience is, I will only call it Internationalism at its best. Shall I not look out the window of Africa, see the rest of the world and join hands with it? I will never have learnt that la in Tibetan had almost 12 variations, nor learnt of the heart-rending story of the Tibetan nation first-hand from a Tibetan girl, had I not this opportunity. I might never have had a Nepali friend with whom to sit and discuss the similar problems facing our countries had I not been this blessed. We are joined in our search for the best of tomorrows. Our zeal and dedication etched so deep in the bastions of our hearts that they remain now embedded in our subconscious, as we strive in this course.

I would not stand here in front of you, were it not for the generosity and foresight of people like you. I would have remained home, believing I had no potential, or unbelievable prospect that I would one day stand in a Palace and deliver a speech to royalty, in my quest for an education and a better standard of living. YOU buy the doors to our dreams, making them a reality, preparing the world for its future. WE understand, from having experienced first hand how a Nation can organise itself to be democratic and to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number, and keep on trying to make it better for all the different groups.

One of the best ways to understand the impact of a charity is to be on the receiving end of it. We never forget what it is that we continually gain. This has instilled in us the right charitable characteristics to make us all brothers in one world. With this, we Pestalozzi students founded a Rotaract club, called the 1066 Rotaract, as an avenue to give back to the less fortunate, ourselves being great benefactors. We have been successful, and have carried out a number of projects; supporting orphanages in Africa by building bore-holes, providing clean water supply in communities in Nepal, amongst a long list. This year, we are raising funds to support street children in Calcutta, India. We have dedicated days to washing cars and organising raffles in this stride, and we would like to take this opportunity to ask if you can donate in cash and kind toward this project. The President, Deji Williams will be going round, and would be glad to receive kind donations.

The support of Pestalozzi will create an impact on the world, tolerance and education continually being keys to take one through this door. The International baccalaureate programme has only been going since 1997, with the first batch of students gaining undergraduate places in the year 2000. I can only but dream for this great future ahead of us. The future with all these wonderful young people, many of whom will be life-long friends, networking across continents, educated by your support, and carrying the Pestalozzi philosophy in our hearts. Ourselves continuing a stream from wherever there is the need; of youthful talent, difference, excitement and delight at being offered the opportunity to come to England for two years…. *

Nurah Oyekan

* This is a speech I gave at the distinguished Kensington Palace in the United Kingdom. I was chosen by the senior management of the Pestalozzi Trust to give this speech at our Benefactors’ reception. I decided to write a speech on my stay at home, as I was hugely affected by the impact of poverty and hardship on the Nigerian nation when I went home for the summer holidays. The Duke of Gloucester and a huge number of dignitaries were present, and all joined in giving me a standing ovation when I finished giving the speech. The Duke said he regretted the fact that there were not many more to listen “to the plight of a young African girl about to make a difference in the world”.

Oh n thats a little epilogue I added when I sent it to the US universities. The speech helped loads...I got five fully funded places at Smith, Hamilton, Richmond, Connecticut College, and Wesleyan. All hail yeah? lol